I like to think that my artwork comes out of nowhere or nothing, because this would make it very pure. But I know it's not. Nothing ever comes out of nothing, and nothing is never really pure. So that means that my art, or any art, always comes out of something. It's not that I think about what I do too much (when I do it), but it's more about what I discover later. In the beginning when people started asking me about the meaning of my L's, I didn't know what to say. I thought they came out of nowhere. But now I say that they stand for 'Los Angeles', or they stand for 'elegance' or they are the missing syllable from my name when I changed it to Ty. But when it comes to my art as a whole, portraying elegance is very important to me because no one else seems to care about elegance anymore - especially in art. It is also important to me because elegance is the opposite of noisy, and I am very sensitive to noise. I have Misophonia. I used to suffer from Misophonia, but I learned how to deal with it and avoid uncomfortable situations. Now days I don't suffer so much but just seem awkward when I'm avoiding those situations. It also made me choose curtain type of people that I can be comfortable around, so I always assess people by whether they are 'elegant' or 'noisy' before anything else. Someone can be very physically attractive, but if they are noisy they become very unattractive to me. But then someone could be unattractive, but if they are elegant they become attractive. However, it seems that elegance play a more vital part for beauties because being attractive is very important to them. While people who are not beauties rely on other traits, and since being attractive does not play a major role, they are often more noisy. Some people use noisy to their advantage, especially in art. Even if it would make a bigger impact, I would never make noisy art because it wouldn't be my art. That doesn't mean that my art is the most elegant art, but I hope it is elegant enough to counter noisy art.
K thinks that Kubrick's Lolita is an amazing movie so I started to watch it for the first time after dinner. I took the day off to run errands and around 6 pm I threw a small rack of ribs on the grill that would be ready by the time I finished exercising, cleaning and booking a place to stay for Art Basel Miami in December. From the beginning the movie was a rather faint and imbalanced version of the book with quite an unfitting cast, and after about 30 minutes I decided to just watch the Adrian Lyne version which is just as good as it gets.
Today Autumn and I finished working on the website and just before Autumn had to leave early to go to Soho House for a members yoga class, we launched it with just enough content for it to be considered launch-worthy. I kept my biography very minimal and didn't include any artist statements or CV's. It's not that I don't believe in them, it's just that I don't think mine are developed enough yet. It seems that everything is more intriguing when it is untold or hidden anyways. Too often people find me interesting at most on the first five seconds they see me. But once they get to know me they get too comfortable and less excited. Sometimes I feel that those who are fascinated by me the most are people that barely know me. It's because they want to know me but for some reason we never get to know each other. It's the same when it comes to people and celebrities. People think celebrities are so exciting but then, once they get to know them, it's usually disappointing and the excitement is replaced by just a desire to be close to fame and fortune. Being close to fame and fortune is much easier and breezy than actually being rich or famous - which is usually something only a small percentage of people can really handle well. To celebrate the launch of my website I went to Cloak and Dagger which is a black only attire, members only, mainstream industrial Goth club. It's also something to do on a Tuesday night in Hollywood. I sat at Ivy Levan's table. Ivy is really sweet, but she gets nutty when she goes out. Her entourage was four guys who all looked the same - the light short hair, 5 o'clock shadow type. I mainly kept to myself and chatted with other people. I find it impossible to keep up with anything Ivy says or does. It was a mild celebration - it's been a while since anything really interesting has happened at that place.
Went to the office and worked for a bit. Then B came by to ask me if I knew anything about air-bnb. He wants to rent out two rooms in his house on a short term basis, which he is now subleasing to long term tenants. Well he didn't just come to pique my knowledge on rentals, but what he really came for is to see if I can help him with money while he's transitioning from long term rentals to short term ones because he needs to give his long term their deposit back. I told him I'll think about it. B never has any money. It's so depressing. When I met him nine years ago he was a painter and had more money than me. He is one of those people that believe that if you constantly think of something you'll end up having it. Well, he had been thinking alright, but nothing happened. I just can't understand why he insists on thinking so much when it hasn't gotten him anywhere. B has it all wrong. The best things happen in between thinking. Thinking stops you from doing what you would have done if you weren't thinking. Instincts, on the other hand, are when you do something without thinking, and that's usually when you discover how much you can actually do. On the way home I stopped at Ralph's for some groceries for the week. The bagger messed up everything and I had to rearrange everything in the begs when I got to my car because I didn't want to make him feel bad. I just wish they would let me bag my own groceries, but I guess it's also good that someone has a job to do.
I went to meet Clio Wilde for a drink at the Roosevelt Hotel. I went to meet her, but she went to meet other people there and also meet me. I normally would avoid situations like these at any cost, but the Roosevelt is so close and I wanted to see her so I took my chances. My friend C joined last minute, but he was also meeting other people there so my situation hasn't improved by much. Within a couple of minutes, I knew this would be a struggle. Clio was catching up with friends, while I was catching up with my phone. I knew I had to get her attention, so I offered to take her picture, and it turned out to be a good one. I knew it would be a good one because Clio is such an effortless beauty. She plays her beauty down, which in a way makes her so much more beautiful. She loved the picture and told me I always take such good pictures. I took the credit, even though I should have passed it on to my phone's camera as I sometimes do. We; Clio, a couple of her friends, and C, and a couple of his friends, ended up having some after hours drinks at my place. I took more pictures and Clio took one of me holding a camera that I thought looked pretty good.
Everybody knows that I hate going to see movies in public theaters - the main reason for this is that you cannot talk. I wouldn't go by myself to see a movie, but then going with someone doesn't make much difference because that someone would be sitting in silence throughout the movie anyways. I also never found the seats in movie theaters comfortable. At home I feel comfortable because I can put my shoe-less feet on a pillow placed on my coffee table, which makes it about the same height as the sofa. At home I can make any comments I want. I can also pause, and go back to parts I spaced out on that had seemed to be significant or interesting. No one ever asks me to go to the movies because they know I wouldn't want to go. The few times I did go end up, under some immense peer pressure, were always disappointing. But then this happened. Late at night, on our way back to the office, in a U-Haul truck that I was driving, after delivering some paintings to a house in Malibu, Autumn and I got in a conversation about dating. And since I don't really go on dates but meet people when I'm out, and since Autumn doesn't go out or drink, but does go on dates, I asked her about some previous first dates that she went on. She said she went to dinner and a movie. I immediately dismissed the idea of going to a movie of a first date - "but you can't talk, what is the point?" I said. Then Autumn said "You talk after the movie. We went to dinner and talked about the movie". I was still very dismissive of the idea at that point, but the conversation shifted pretty swiftly to how Autumn can open up without drinking and that she gets the worst hangovers. But later when I got home I was thinking about it for a bit and realized that going to the theater with someone you had just met for the first time is not such a bad idea. It consolidates all the awkward silence moments that would otherwise occur during dinner, into a 2-hour non awkward silence, so later any silences are not awkward anymore. It is almost like having sex right when you meet someone new. After that, any sexual advanced cannot be presumed as awkward. So after sitting in silence for two hours, any silences after that assume a nostalgic sentiment and not an awkward one. Then there's also the part where determines if it's the right person. I mean, if one side thinks the movie is good and the other side thinks it blows, then forget about it! But if you both like the movie then there's definitely good potential there. So I came to realize that for people who go on first dates, starting off with going to the movies is a very good idea. I rarely like any new releases so a good date for me would be one that just start with sex.
Had a very disappointing 4th of July. Even though I still don't know the full applications of what had happen. It was disappointing because I wasn't enjoying myself - but sometimes social situations, even if they are not enjoyable could lead to something more interesting in the future. There was this girl at the party I went to who I really wanted to talk to and maybe take a picture of, but whenever I've seen her, she was always not near me and going somewhere. She reminded me of the kind of girls I used to see around ten years ago so it was more of a nostalgic attraction then actual attraction. But then hours later, when it was already very dark outside, and when I was already very bored and ready to leave, I saw her - and she stood pretty close to me. So I went and talked to her for a bit. After some exchanged messages earlier today, she said she would come to this house in Malibu where my art is being photographed on Friday. It would give me the opportunity to take her pictures, since it was too dark by the time I talked to her last night. Well, there's nothing special about this story yet, but the point is that sometimes I beat myself too hard if I'm not having a great time when I'm supposed to be having a great time. But instead I should focus on where I am - not where I could be, and see what opportunities are there for me. Sometimes when I'm not having fun, it's because no one seems interesting enough. But what I really should think is that everyone is interesting and I just need to figure out why they are interesting. That will give me something to do and make any situation much more enjoyable. Of course, I also need to be interesting and that is a lot of work. I think this is the most difficult part about being an artist - is that people expect you to be interesting all the time. Most of the time I don't really have anything to say. Most of the time my mind is blank. Some people are naturally interesting and always have something to say - they usually have other problems, but even their problems seem interesting, because they are interesting. I, on the other hand, have to work very hard on this. I always think about how I can be more interesting, but thinking about things too much usually just blocks my ability to contribute anything interesting. What I do, and what I think other people do, is developing patterns of responses, engagements, certain words or movements that cascade into whole new ideas by the time I'm done talking. It's just like shifting gears, you start with what you're most familiar with and helps to sustain new more fascinating expansions. So even if I feel like I'm repeating myself and not being very regional at first, I tell myself that this is fine because it will lead up to something a bit more exciting. Not everyone I see I want to take pictures of, but since it's a safe and familiar engagement on my part, I will sometimes ask people who I don't want to take their picture, if could take their picture. Then once I've taken their picture, it has given me enough time to think about what I could say or do that could be more interesting than just taking their picture. Usually people open up quite considerably once they see the picture I took because they don't expect the results I get on my cell phone. Since everyone has an iPhone, their eyes are so used to it, so when they see something else, better, they become flabbergasted. So at this point their guard is down and the engagement doesn't feel awkward anymore.
T: Oh I didn't even realize it's tomorrow. I barely know what day it is. I guess I'm going to exercise in the morning.
K: I have the day off but the weather here is going to be stormy. Was going to go to Hot Springs but maybe I'll go Saturday. Have you been?
T: No, but people had told me that I should go back when I was there (in Little Rock, Arkansas).
T: But then once people talk about something it makes it much less attractive. The best places people keep secret because they don't want anyone else go to go there.
K: Are there any secret places in Arkansas that you know about?
T: If you go to the airport, there should be a plane that will fly you back to LA - maybe to Huston first, but then there's one to LA.